Bucket list

A little bird told me it was nearly snowing back home? It isn't really here. More of a mix of neck blisteringly hot sunshine, and torrential downpours.

We made it to Koh Phi Phi a few days ago after a couple of hour long ferry ride. Our hostel was literally the other side of the island so we lugged our gear over and prayed the 45% rated hostel didn't have cockroaches for breakfast.

Luckily, it wasn't overly terrible, even if the fan cooler/heater turned out to keep the room at a constant 5-10 degrees warmer than outside.

After chucking our stuff in the room and tobes having his mandatory 98 winks we headed up to the viewpoint to take a look at the whole island. Phi Phi is an absolutely beautiful place, although pretty built up and and a bit of a haven for tourists. After more sweating than you can imagine, we decided to walk into the jungle to see if we could find a few secluded beaches the other side. Unfortunately, it only took us to several dead ends as we slowly realised we were completely lost. It wasn't the best welcome to the island but after a couple of hours, some poor hand signals to Swedes, and litres of sweat later we made it back. Tobes needed a nap after all the exertion.

We decided to go out on the razzle that night, so went out to one of the beach bars and sat watching some dubstep fire shows. We had remembered the fashion faux pas we made in Krabi we went out more caj, dapper even. A waitress came to offer us drinks, and we pointed out some cheeky tipples, or buckets (or so I bloody thought). We got chatting to a couple of Australians who explained most of what was going on, and generic chat through wafts of kerosene. Chirpsing was going steadily until the drinks swiftly popped on the table. Toby's lad bucket was freshly chilled, topped up and he looked like he was born ready. Eager to see mine, she placed genuinely the smallest little brandy glass full of fluorescent pink liquid; Singapore sling. Did I really order that? As if my manhood couldn't get more decimated, she lobbed in a beautiful flower. Giggling everywhere, great. We continued to bore them with inane witterings about weather and the cost of bread. Cor, we're a blast, maybe it's our English roots.

We did a bit of a bar crawl, ending up at a pretty mad place at the end of the beach called Slinky's, which is basically a mental beach club where lots of stabbings happen. It was a pretty good laugh, but it was all getting a bit decadent for my liking. When we exited seven eleven with our nineteenth Bacardi breezers (cherry) and saw a guy getting bottled, it was reminiscent of the high street on a Saturday night. We needed some home comforts.

The main two beaches on Phi Phi are full of tiny, sober Aussies so not wanting to show them all up, we fancied a walk to a supposedly quieter, more scenic beach. Long beach was quite a walk for us, so we set off expectantly. Just as we got to the point furthest away from cockroach city, Tobes grabs me and shakes his head. It was fairly obvious it wasn't good. We were sure that eight times reheated, cooled and lightly toasted chicken from a guy cooking on a bin was fine. The poor fella felt a little twinge, like a gurgle from an N64 rumble pack in a bum bag. We ran back, and after much moaning my optimism for reaching long beach was long gone. After the drama of it all Tobes needed a brief catnap.

After beaching a bit the following day, we went out for drinks and met a couple from England who gave us tips on the rest of our travels. They were thinking about possibly getting bamboo tattoos, and my changeable self loves a knee jerk reaction. Thankfully, my inner Singapore sling made me chicken out, although I might still get a cheeky small one. On my foot maybe, suggestions? You've all commented so much already. Tobes had a quick siesta.

Talking of chicken I can't go on without explaining one day we had there, when Tobes may just have broken the toilet duration world record. We booked onto this tour of all the little islands that make up and neighbour Phi Phi. Ten of us on this long boat with the captain as high as a kite made my Thai perfectly comprehensible, and snorkelling pretty fun.

We saw Bamboo and Mosquito islands, and stopped off at an originally named Monkey bay. The sand was amazing, and the beach was stunning. It was a bit packed, and felt a big sorry for the monkeys being prodded and poked with Nikons and coke shoved in their hands. Having said that, they nicked anything that dangled. We saw one moonwalking through the trees, so maybe bubbles could still be alive. We arrived at the final snorkelling stop and Tobes, poor chap, had a bit of a rumble in the jungle. Giving the water a miss, when I came back he was in all sorts of bother. Simultaneously sweating, pacing and praying to find a loo whilst trying to find out how much longer we would be stranded from our captain, who had descended into a giggling little girl. Made my day to be honest. You could cut the tension in the air with a knife. After much more squirming, and me attempting to give words of advice, Tman asked me to get in the water with him. I'm not sure what Save the Whales would have to say, but there was going to be some pollution on the pristine reefs of Thailand. Just as we were discussing the most suitable/least utterly obscene place to empty, what kind of decoy/distraction techniques I had to employ (honestly, some world class ideas were put forward), and predicting the pressure implications of a submerged restroom break, the captain kicked the motor into action and we just managed to make it. Relief is a word often banded about willy nilly, but the dictionary should now definitely refer to Toby's eyes at that instant in its definition.

Getting to Maya bay, which is unbelievable to be fair, we got chatting to some Icelanders who were doing the same as us. Bowel movement regularity isn't a typical starter for 10, but as it seamlessly segued to India and curries (of which we are now Thai experts) we realised we are learning to speak to humans.

The snorkelling was actually really fun, and made me really want to do some scuba diving. A Swedish guy kept telling me off for giving him thumbs up under water, but did take me to see some pretty amazing things. Massive schools of fish, clams, coral and everything in between. The only dampener was the massive cold the pink mask gave me, which wasn't ideal. Tobes had a cheeky snooze.

The boat stopped so we could see sunset between the islands, and we saw that it was raining on all I them, which is quite a surreal sight. We had organised dinner with the English guys, so after freezing showers, we headed out. The downpour we got ourselves in was phenomenal. It didn't help that we got lost and went to the ATM multiple times, but we got absolutely drenched.

The next day we headed to Koh Tao, for some scuba diving. Taking a night boat was somewhat interesting, but I'll write about that next time.

Posts might be a bit sporadic soon, it's heavily/entirely dependent on Internet. Stick with us though.

Views seem to be skyrocketing, our leccy bill must be huge dad! We have just about knocked back google and half of silicon valley for capital ventures. We stick to our roots.