The seven months started in a sandwich restaurant in Gatwick, north terminal. With a slice of cake and coffee we left (with only a cheeky glance back, no tears at least). After flights through more time zones and countries than we wanted, we arrived in Bangkok. Everything was easy getting though customs although as you would expect, we were incredibly bad at picking quick passport queues.
We made it through the sweaty terminal to the taxi stop looking peachy in our jumpers and track suit bottoms. No wonder we were accosted by some Argentinian lawyers to share the taxi ride into central Bangkok. We had little choice. ALWAYS tell the driver to put the meter on before you depart. No; us and Ché Guevara were professionals, he was the king of barter. Awkward brits don't excel at declining icons, so we all jumped in. He was actually very interesting and amicable, but unfortunately it seemed he couldn't unleash his world renown, magical tradesmanship as the driver couldn't even speak English or even Spanish, surprisingly.
Our hostel was down Soi (lane) 6, just north of Khosan road. However, a lane in Bangkok isn't exactly an 'English country' version. After skipping over a few mice and jumping at dogs (great rabies jab investment) we made it. We weren't exactly welcomed by the receptionist, who happened to be a fully fledged ladyboy, so we approached apprehensively. In my deepest, clearest Surrey accent I enquired about our reservation. She squawked and handed us a piece of paper. We found it ourselves.
Our room was actually fine and functional, and our collective sigh of relief at the western style toilet must have been heard by our favourite resplendent receptionist. Oh, and we pretty much woke up the whole place with our inability to work a safe. Lots of bleeping.
We went to do some exploring of the area, and ended up buying some street food and sitting in a bar with some drinks.
The next couple of days were filled with touristy sightseeing; Wat Pho, the Grand Palace (think Tobes will explain that a bit better...) and getting a massage. Bit of an experience the massage, and to be honest, relatively painful.
r.e. pigeongate: we were confronted by several women (large) who forced dried sweetcorn in our hands crying "Chinese new year!". Never ones to be killjoys we were loving it after they made it out to be customary. "yeh, pass me more! 10 bags please". Such fun. Pigeons were quite obviously hating it, and it unfortunately all turned sour when the largest woman gave me a serious stare and said, "you pay". We were surrounded and suddenly a little light went on in my head as I remembered my primary school stranger danger course (which I passed with flying colours). I was hoping it didn't apply in Bangkok, the green cross code certainly doesn't. Alas no, we stumped up some cash and swore a few times thorough gritted teeth.
To be fair both temples were beautiful; intricate, ornate designs unlike anything in Europe.
Our Primark designer attire wasn't cutting it any longer, so went to buy vests and flip flops, forgetting how perfect our tan lines had become, it offended some stranger so much he felt it was necessary to point it out to Tobes, like he didn't know his neck was on fire.
The next evening we thought it was Chinese new year so decided to walk to Chinatown. After a few dodgy backstreets we found a pretty empty street, and a French couple told us we were a day late. Still, there was still some stragglers so we had a look round. Tired and hungry, we went and got two huge curries and some drinks. Del boy had a piña colada, I was loving Chang still.
Whilst we were in Bangkok, we thought we should at least see as much as we can. The next night we went out to Silom Road; ate some food and had a look at the markets. Went into the Patpong (dodgy) area, and obviously couldn't handle anything other than a conservative karaoke bar with ladyboy (more ladyman) singing all the hits; Queen, Toto and Bryans Adam/Adams Bryan/Adam Bryans (don't think she knew) to name a few. We saw a few eye openers, and headed back.
The next day we packed up our stuff ready to head south.
ps still alive mum
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